Secrets in Review, Issue 1

The first two weeks brought more than 3,000 visitors to our adoption stories. Here are the highlights, and your comments, on Secret Sons & Daughters.

It has been an exciting initial two weeks at Secret Sons & Daughters. We are overjoyed to have virtually met more than 3,000 visitors through more than 7,100 page views.

The stories have sparked everything from comments on the movie Philomena, to what it’s like to find out everyone knew about your adoption—but you. The benefits of DNA testing were mentioned, and we were quite moved by one mother’s comment describing how she and her husband celebrate their daughter’s birthday each year by honoring her birth mother.

In addition, an adoption counselor from Phoenix had this to say about our 10 Questions to Ask When Searching for an Adoption Competent Therapist piece. The questions were provided by adoption therapist, Leslie Pate Mackinnon, who recently appeared on Katie Couric’s show as the “American Philomena:”

I hope your list of questions will be widely circulated, as well as the information that there are specialists who work with adoption. Oftentimes I’ve had people come to me who were told by counselors who don’t know adoption issues that ‘they should be over this by now.’ Adoption is a lifelong event, not an event that is short time focused.

And we were honored to receive this comment that summed up what we hope to do perhaps better than we could:

. . .appreciative for . . . websites and blogs like yours, that prompt a wider dialogue about loss, love, motherhood, abandonment, grieving, reunions, enduring connections and human rights.

These are some of our top stories that did just that:

What it’s Like to Be A Late Discovery AdopteeTexas Daughter, Darlene Coyne, learns at 52 that she’d been adopted as an infant

The Philomena Effect—An adoptee from the generation that kept quiet about adoption reflects on telling the truth

Making Sense of Fantasy and RealityDivided loyalties, unforeseen consequences, joy, loss—California daughter, Kendra Crookston, discovers that reunions have many seasons

Lastly, there are our own SS&D Cofounder stories, which are somewhat opposite from one another:

Sometimes a Reunion Gives an Adoptee New SecretsHeather Katz shares her journey in search of peace and equanimity

An Adoptee’s Portrait in Nature and NurtureAfter her reunion, Christine Koubek searches for a way to love two mothers

Many thanks to Bethesda magazine and Montgomery Community Media for their stories on our launch. You can find us in Bethesda’s March issue, “People Watcher” column.

We’re happy to report that we’ve also received a few new Adoptee Tales. Thanksgiving Day Reunion ’95, written by Secret Son Daryn Winter, was published last Friday and we look forward to sharing the others in the coming weeks.

Most importantly, thank you for helping us spread the word about Secret Sons & Daughters throughout the adoption community. We look forward to hearing more of your thoughts and hope you’ll consider sharing your own tale.

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About the author

Christine Koubek

Christine Koubek

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Christine was born in Massachusetts, adopted and raised in New York, and has been reunited with her biological families for more than twenty years. Her award winning essay, Portrait in Nature and Nurture, is now included in an adoption training manual. She received an MFA in Creative Writing from Fairfield University and has been a journalist and travel writer for 14 years, a writing workshop leader, and a Virginia Center for the Creative Arts fellow. Her stories have appeared in The Washington Post, Bethesda, Ladies’ Home Journal, Washingtonian, Brain, Child and more. When not writing, she loves running, singing (in the car), and trying new sports, especially with her husband and two sons. She is thrilled that Secret Sons & Daughters has become a place to share your voice and connect through the power of shared stories.

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